During the honeymoon period of your relationship, dating is a verb. You’re dating your partner. You make plans, you arrange times to meet, you say goodbye at the end of the night. The verb of dating is natural because you are in the act of getting to know who this person is and if they might be a good partner for you.
A few years into dating, you’re still dating, but you no longer require the actual verb-ing of the process in the same way that you used to.
How to keep dating your partner after the honeymoon period
So, naturally, some of the things you used to do out of necessity become more natural pieces of your every day life.
That’s not a bad thing. You feel secure and safe in your relationship. Your partner knows just the things you like. You’re working together for shared goals.
But when you stop dating, you may also stop being intentional. And when you’re intentional with your partner, you’re showing them that you’re not just there because of habit. You’re there because you want to be there.
Tips for Dating Your Partner
Reserve time for date nights no matter what
- A date night means you and your partner. Not your other partner/s. Not your children. Not your friends. Not your family. Just you two.
Take time without technology to just talk to each other
- The conversations I have with J when we’re not on our phones are much more meaningful, but it’s easy to forget how important it is to put the phone down.
- If you’re going on a date night and the date is a movie – make sure to include something before or after where you can talk to one another, look each other in the eyes.
Woo each other with your love languages
- Do you know what your partners love language is? Chances are that they value certain acts of love over others. Take the love language quiz together and learn what your partner values!
- When you know your partners love language, try to speak it (and others) often. Greeting cards aren’t just for holidays. Date night doesn’t always have to fall on a Friday or be pre-planned. Words of affection can be slipped into coat pockets or written on white boards.
Don’t forget to work your peacock
- It’s easy to put a lot of time and attention into your outward appearance when you’re dating. Your activities are usually pre-scheduled and planned and short-lived so you have time to get handsome. When you’re in a long term relationship your partner is going to see you at your slouchiest and most comfortable – which is super cool. (I like seeing Jason when he’s cozy because I know he’s relaxed and comfortable!)
- Remembering to take care of yourself is important and a thought to always return to. Sometimes spicing things up is as easy as wearing a new (or old) cologne, slipping on a dress, or giving yourself an extra good at-home spa day to make your whole face light up.
- Peacocking isn’t just outward – it’s inward too. Flexing your brain muscles and learning something new can remind your partner that there is always something new to be discovered about one another. It can refresh the memories of getting to know one another, and remind you of earlier times in your relationship – when things were more mysterious.
The most important thing to remember ::
Keep dating your partner by giving them the kind of love that you would want to receive in return. This person means the most to you – so treat them with that level of care. The more you care for someone, the happier they are, and the better they are able to love back. It’s a viciously adorable cycle, one that feeds on itself. You love me, I love you, we love each other.
Feeling the pits after Valentine’s Day? Don’t feel blue, let’s chat. Submit your question today and I’ll answer it on my blog.