Question: I’ve been with my girlfriend for 7 years. Everything’s perfect except I have a fetish about her having sex with another man considerably more endowed than I. This fetish stems in to a previous relationship as well and I don’t think it’s going to go away anytime soon. I just want to know is it weird? Do others do this? Also how do I go about telling her of this fetish I want to make a reality?
Answer: This is not an unusual fantasy – you’ll find it’s actually fairly common on erotica boards and in pornography. (Not always a super accurate representation of actual behaviors, to be fair.) You may want to look up the term cuckolding. [Cuckolding can be positive for some couples, study says – Ian Kerner for CNN].
I would encourage you to share this with your partner, being open about how the idea turns you on.
If you don’t already talk openly and honestly about fantasies (or dirty talk in general) it might be more difficult. Try to get some kind of green light prior to opening this conversation. Your partner might not be ready to hear these fantasies. While I would encourage you to share them with her, I’d also encourage you to take the temperature of the situation before blurting it out. “Can I share a new fantasy with you right now? It’s kind of unusual.”
If you and your partner do openly and honestly talk about fantasies, kinks (or dirty talk in general) it may be easier to include this into your normal conversations together. “I was thinking of one more fantasy lately I haven’t told you about. Wanna hear?”
Your partner may be equally interested in trying this (maybe she’s been thinking about it, too!) You may be able to incorporate this into some kind of roleplay where a third party isn’t actually involved. And at the very least – you’ll know you have shared your interests, giving yourself a chance to live out an experience that excites you. Best of luck.
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