You shouldn’t stop thinking about safer sex just because you’re in a monogamous relationship
When we’re talking about safer sex we’re usually talking about preventing the transmission of STDs. Safer sex extends beyond any potential infections you might get! Here are some examples of ways you can have safer sex in your monogamous relationship.
Feel Safe – Emotionally – Establish Open & Healthy Communication
Safer sex isn’t just physical, it’s also emotional. Feeling safe is incredibly important, especially if you’ve had partners in the past who have not respected your body or your personal space. If your partner does something that does not make you feel safe or comfortable talk to them about it. It’s never too late to introduce new boundaries or change old ones. For instance, I often hear about people who used to be into degradation (being called names in the bedroom) but for one reason or another are no longer interested in that particular kind of dirty talk. Keeping lines of communication open and feeling safe telling your partner when things change is very important. If you do not feel safe or if this kind of communication doesn’t happen in your relationship, talk to someone you do trust for help.
Mind How Your Body Communicates With You
Experience unexpected pain or bleeding? It’s probably because something was a little rougher than your body was OK with and it’s trying to tell you “stop, let me heal/rest/recooperate.” Maybe you have a bruised cervix from penetration that was too deep or maybe low-lubrication led to some light bleeding from a piece of your skin rubbed raw. Whatever the pain is, stop what you’re doing, and listen to your body. Avoid any creams or ointments that simply cover the pain (I’m looking at you, numbing lube) and swap to another kind of play until the pain stops. If this pain (or bleeding, or soreness) does not stop, or if it gets worse, see a doctor. Keep track of any unusual symptoms in a journal or calendar so you can communicate more clearly with your doctor.
Get Your STD Test, Anyways!
Just because you’re monogamous doesn’t mean you don’t have to get STD tests! A full STD panel can be a regular part of your yearly checkup routine. It may even help curb the deeply engrained panicked feeling (even if you haven’t even had sex, isn’t that fear universal?) waiting for results if you start getting checkups regularly instead of just when you need them!
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