Twitter has been doing this thing where it’s been sending me notifications for tweets my friends have shared rather than replies or retweets. I opened Twitter to figure out how to turn it off and I realized it had been a month to the day since I’d tweeted last. That’s the longest I’ve gone without tweeting since I signed up for Twitter.
General thoughts on this: I think I’ve felt a lot less stressed out. Giving up the fantasy that I need to tweet x number of times per day about literally everything that happens in my life gave me some room to breathe. It wasn’t just stopping tweeting, it was accepting that tweeting wasn’t actually necessary.
As an aside, I do feel like my small and meaningless thoughts have been building up to a critical level. They might actually make me explode inwards on myself. A cataclysm of ideas.
Things I’ve been doing instead:
- Thinking about turning 29 this year and slowly escalating into a mild horror about turning 31 even though I’m not even 30 yet but once you’re 31 it’s like suddenly you’re 40 and you could really die any day now life is basically halfway over and after that it’s just a dark void and everyone forgets you how can I be okay with that
- Re-reading “1001 things to talk about before you get married” because we’re the kinds of people who would re-read a book like that and take notes in the margins
- Making absurd statements like “we should buy this house” and “lets get another cat” but I’ve noticed Jason picking up this hobby as well like “let’s get a playstation” even though neither of us play video games and we have literally negative free time, so I like this guy. he gets me.
- Drinking so much coffee that I’m actually starting to go backwards in the coffee spectrum like the more I drink the more tired I get I think I could fall asleep at my desk pretty easily and that’s after a quad latte and refilling the office coffee drip
- Pretending that I’m an adult with my new adult wardrobe which contains really nice pants and really nice shirts and a pair of $30.00 white converse that are so dirty with the sweat and the smog of Paris that I can convince people I really did come from a small town and no I don’t have enough money leftover after paying rent to buy those nice black leather flats I really want.
- Waiting for fall, impatiently, with the force of a thousand hopes and dreams.
- Trying not to die with this smoke from the Oregon fires. Which are miserable, bad, terrible things. Actually taking a sick day today because I feel feverish and sweaty and sore and that could also possibly be because my uterus is, by the year, becoming more and more violent at the unspeakable void.
- I’m eating a lot more tempeh which I’m really enjoying. I also had a burger salad the other day and now I think I don’t want to eat bread anymore. On an aside: I had toast for breakfast. I am 28 and this is deep.