Sex Advice in One Sentence

In which I try to answer reddit questions by just looking at the post title: 

Q: The Hookup culture, is it really this ‘unsafe’ or have I just met the wrong people?
A: You’ve just met the wrong people.

Q: Does seasonal transition (ex: summer to fall) impact how sexually attracted you are to people?
A: There’s just something about a man in a knit sweater.

Q: Should I tell my boyfriend he makes me wet
A: Tell him it’s discharge.

Q: What makes a girl good at sex?
A: Masturbation

Q: Ladies, what do you say when a guy doesn’t finish you off?
A: You’re fucking-kidding me.

Q: Should I take another STD test? (M/25)
A: If you have to ask, yes.

Q: An old friend (30F) and her boyfriend (27M) asked my wife (32F) and I (31M) if we wanted to couple-swap. We don’t really, but want to be good friends anyways. How do we handle this?
A: Say “No thanks, but we hope you find what you’re looking for and we’re honored you thought of us!”

Q: I (m22) want to get my partner (f21) a fishnet bodystocking but we’re unsure about the best way to do it.
A: The internet.

Q: Absorbing semen in the colon
A: The name of my next science fiction novel is “Anal Baby”

Have a question about sex or love? Submit now I’ll answer it on my blog. In more than one sentence, too! 

 

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