Weekly Update: Damn, Son.

Yoast says my SEO for this post is bad BUT YOAST CAN SUCK IT.

Elizabeth Friedland fosters children, as a single, working woman

Setting the bar so high for doing something good and hard and important. The older I get the more I see my ability for stretching myself grow. I can take care of myself and I can be there for my friends and I can get my work done and there is still something left over. A small accomplishment compared to this.

Portland: Hot as Balls / Glad I don’t have balls

Nothing else to say here, just really glad I don’t have testicles this season.

Our President, still not very good at pretending he’s not a scumbag

Here he is acknowledging Brigitte Macron’s body inappropriately. Trump kind of talks about women like, y’know, meat. It was a fine cut, wow. Grass fed. Beautiful. Sorry France.

General status update

Hair is longer nao. I curl for snek look. Sssssss.

Infidelity: a thesis

My on this day reminded me that a year ago I was in the heat of writing about infidelity! My thesis was about how women experience guilt before, during, and after infidelity in unique ways because of gender roles. Check out this post from July 13th, 2015 // What Leads to Infidelity?

Um, debt repayment?

I came up with a plan to pay off all my debt (~$10,000) before I turn 30! If I even make it 90% of the way there I’ll feel pretty accomplished. This does not include my student loans which are basically an inoperable growth that has suctioned itself onto my internal organs, slowly leeching away my ability to lead a productive life. But we’ve got progress.

What’s in and What’s out

In: Middle of the night sleep sex, middle of the night off-brand oreos, eating entire avocados cut up so you can’t directly see the amount of avocado you’re eating, rescuing bugs from the office and putting them outside, buying beer based on what the cheese counter guy says would be a good pairing, buying a $10 bottle of argan oil from amazon instead of a $50 bottle of oil from sephora jesus mother fucking christ.

Out: CRINKLE CUT FRENCH FRIES. $50 PICTURE FRAMES – THEY’RE JUST PIECES OF WOOD IN A SQUARE. MEN ASKING ME WHY IM NOT SMILING. DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY. Sit down, let me tell you a story. One day your mother fell in love. Her and your father made love one night in a room full of candles and nine months later she held you in her arms and she cried on your newborn skin. She raised you. She taught you how to walk, how to read. She laughed when she discovered your favorite food was brocolli. You liked to watch the old shows in black and white and you dreamed about what your life was going to be like when you grew up. AND NOW HERE YOU ARE, ON THE SIDEWALK, SCRATCHING YOUR NUTSACK. I CAN LITERALLY SEE YOUR TEETH FALLING OUT OF YOUR MOUTH HOLE, AND YOU’RE TRYING TO HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH ME. IM SAD BECAUSE YOU WERE BORN INTO A GALAXY OF STARS AND THIS IS WHAT YOU MADE OF IT.

 

(Then I fall into deep dispair about the prison industrial complex and honestly I can’t so let’s just say the sadness is a deep complex sad spiral about drug use and poverty.)

 

/whistles.

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