I decide to write my senior thesis on infidelity because no one else was talking about it.
When my advisor asked me what that meant, I explained that the subject of infidelity shuts down discourse. It’s difficult to have open and honest conversations about infidelity and what it is because people always seem to need to default to “but it’s just really bad and if you do it you’re a bad person.” This sweeping generalization was confusing to me, because I knew many people who had been unfaithful to their partners. I didn’t know them to be bad people. In writing my thesis I realized that the percentage of people who cheat (like in the movies, purposefully, with intent of harm) must be incredibly slim.
I haven’t stopped thinking about infidelity and the culture of being unfaithful since I turned in that paper.
A new definition for being unfaithful
My go-to definition for being unfaithful is anything you’ve said or done which you would feel uncomfortable sharing with your significant other.
- A series of communication (text, email, phone) where you confide in someone that is not your partner and create an emotional bond.
- Lying about who you’re spending time with and where you’ve been rather than being honest and open with your partner.
- Feeling chemistry with someone that is not your partner and flirting extensively with that person, particularly to fulfill an emotion that you feel is lacking in your relationship.
- Kissing or touching or being physical in some way with someone who is not your monogamous partner.
- Doing something outside of the boundaries you’ve created in your monogamous or non-monogamous relationship.
- Indicating that you are interested in having an exclusive relationship with someone while continuing to date other people.
I am looking for stories about times you have been unfaithful
- No length limit. It can be a sentence or you can really dish.
- You define what being unfaithful means to you. Don’t worry if someone else wouldn’t think that it was being unfaithful. All that matters is how it made you feel.
- It can be a current or past relationship.
- Feel free to include multiple occasions.
- In a future post about infidelity I’ll be pulling quotes from some or all of the submissions I get. Please do not submit unless you are comfortable with the possibility of part of your story being shared anonymously.
- If all or parts of your story are shared on my blog and you later decide you would like it removed, I’m happy to do this.
To submit, email your story to: lorelei AT suggestivetongue DOT com
EDIT: If you don’t want to email your submission, and prefer anonymous entry, please use this box to submit:
Submission Deadline: 3/21/17.