Question:: How would you define this person? My friend is a 38 yr old male who hates for anyone to touch his penis while having sex. He is bi but can only pleasure himself with his own hand while giving male/female oral sex. I think it’s odd and numerous sexual partners have broken up with him over this issue. I’ve told him he has some issues to deal with. But is it normal or does he have something wrong with him?
I’m not certain what your relationship is with him, and why you’re getting involved, but if there’s some sort of sexual relationship between the two of you, I’d suggest asking him directly why he has this preference. Seems obvious, I know, but let’s just get it out there. If you’re just curious because you’re close friends and this strikes you as odd, maybe your position is simply as the bewildered confidant.
My first guess is that he might have issues with ejaculation – coming too quickly – and wants to have control. If he were to give someone else the ability to take the wheel he wouldn’t be able to pace out intercourse in a way he’s accustomed to.
Other potential explanations: he has issues staying hard and needs to stimulate himself a certain way, he has insecurities about his penis, he’s very sensitive and finds that other people touching him causes him discomfort, he’s had bad experiences in the past and is still struggling to move on, he’s got a specific jerking-off-in-peoples-faces-kink, or… it just so happens that this specific act is the thing that gets his rocks off the best/easiest.
In the case of it’s just what he digs, man maybe he should be honest with himself and others and seek out partners who don’t think its strange. If it’s an issue of control, sensitivity, or insecurity, he might need to work through some things – with the right partner – to make a more fulfilling connection.
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