Dating an Independent Woman

What advice would you give for dating an independent woman?

Number one piece of advice for dating an independent woman: don’t be surprised when she is independent. 

It’s amazing how many people love people who are strong, confident, and independent, but then get frustrated when their partner exhibits traits that are strong, confident, and independent. Dude.


The saddest shit in the entire world is when we fall in love with someone and then, slowly, over time, the things that we used to love about someone become the things we wish we could change about them. Talk about a pot of melting bullshit.

We fall in love, and then we build resentments. And there are a lot of reasons why this happens and how this happens but behind some of it is this unsettling belief that when we love someone they’ll eventually come to see life the way we see it. But that doesn’t happen, shouldn’t happen.

And when it does.

When it does.

Sometimes we just fall out of love. We change too much. We forget who we are. We forget why we fell in love.

How do you love an independent woman? Carefully.

You let her be independent. You remember why you love her independence. You acknowledge how that independence shows itself. You are able to pick out stubbornness. You are able to pick out indecision. You are able to see when it’s time to let her be. You give her space.

As an independent woman, it’s your job to allow room in your life for your partner.  This isn’t just about your partner learning how to love you just the way you are. This is a two way street. If your partner is going to love the spark and the fire, you have to be cautious as the flame to make sure that you don’t burn the things that you love the most.

Find how another person can fit into your world. Make space where there might not have been space before. Learn to not push love away. Consider your love language. Consider your partners love language.

It is also your job to not give up that independence. To find ways to meld together your spirit with the togetherness of another person. To find the right person, of course. That’s something we’re all trying to do. Are you right for them? Are they right for you?

Finding that melding of independence and togetherness can be a hard thing to do and sometimes it takes a little figuring out. To make sure you don’t lose that spirit (her) and to make sure that you can keep falling in love with that spirit (them.)

Do you have a question about sex or love? Submit at and I’ll answer it on my blog.

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