So I’m on the couch with my feet over my head and I’m sweating profusely as Jonathan Franzen throws amazing one-liners at me over and over and over again. And then I read this. I’m paraphrasing because that book is like 600 pages and I think it’s actually too early in the morning to lift it up.
Maybe if it can be wrecked, it oughta be wrecked.
And I was just like shut the front door. I’ve held on to this line for several days now and my little neurons keep circling back to it forming a larger and larger attachment to it. What does it mean and why did it raise my heart rate?
If you know me you’ll know two things: I’m a realist and a romantic. These two things often duke it out.
“50% of marriages end in divorce!”
“Yeah well 50% of marriages don’t!”
“but why would you marry someone unless you wanted to commit!”
“hey but its super romantic that they wanted to try to begin with!”
“well no one person can be perfect for you!”
“but what if imperfection is where perfection is born?”
“shut up, you’re an asshole”
“I like talking about this, lets share our feelings!”
The realist in me thought this: If a relationship is in a place where it can be wrecked, it means that the structure of the relationship is not strong enough. Something needs to come in and break that structure down so the couple can see that their relationship was not sturdy. Either they see this as a challenge and rebuild it, or they realize maybe they didn’t want to live by the ocean and move somewhere else.
Sometimes a relationship looks more like a bad game of Jenga than a partnership. Don’t you just wanna… you know. Kick it over? You look at it and think man, if I’d had better playing blocks, maybe an even surface, oh yeah. I could kill at this next round.
The romantic in me thought this: Anything can be wrecked. Okay, that doesn’t sound super romantic. But it’s true. I think any relationship can suffer a rocky time. It doesn’t mean the foundation is cracked or the tower is falling over or whatever other horrible metaphor you want to use. It just means you’re two humans loving each other in your flawed and perfect ways. Anything can be wrecked and it doesn’t mean you should give up. It doesn’t mean you should stop trying. Anything can be wrecked and that’s what makes love so important. We wake up every morning and choose to love each other over and over again. We choose not to let the world wreck us. Sometimes two people find each other and both of them want to try together.