Do you have any advice on how to get one’s “shit together”? I’m a college student and there’s so much to straighten out and figure out, I don’t know where to start. And the overall life situation I am in gives me anxiety and I feel too overwhelmed to attempt any steps to legitimate change. Also if you could give some advice on how to pick a major I would love to hear your perspective. Thank you for your amazing blog.
There’s no real secret for getting your shit together, some people are better jugglers than others.
If they’re not too good at juggling, sometimes they:
1. Pretend they know what they’re doing
2. Only show people the side of themselves that is with-it giving a false perception that they are completely competent
3. Know how to laugh at themselves and the ridiculousness of their situation
4. Know how to see something beautiful in something ugly.
I don’t know what I’m doing all the time. When things are going my way and everything is just awesome I usually figure that I’ve forgotten about something important.
What’s important to remember is when someone is doing very well, that doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t have problems of their own. If you put a lot of time and attention into one thing, its easy to let something else drop. And even if it does appear that they have it all together, that doesn’t even start to cover the fears and insecurities they might have within their head.
The biggest mistake you could make is believing that anyone has more ability to be awesome than you do.
What would I do?
As usual, make a list. I love lists. I love lists about lists. A good list can turn a shitty day into a shitty day that you can strike out with a sharpie.
A list creates direction and it pulls all the anxiety from your head onto a piece of paper. Put some easy shit at the top. Like, brush your teeth. There, you can strike that off the list. You’ve done something today, good job. Now that you’ve got the ball rolling, write down all the stuff that scares you. Choosing a major. Registering for college. Paying for college. They break those things down into small chunks.
[ ] Choose a major
What do I want to do?
What is important to me in an education?
Will my education help me get a job?
What would I like to do as a job?
What is important to me in working, and a career?
The best question I’ve found is this: what do you actually like to do? Do you like to draw? Make music? Sell things to people? Write books? Teach? Code? Build things? Do you like to help people?
No one ever told me this but it doesn’t take a computer program to tell you what you’d be good at. You’re usually the best at the things that you like to do. School can help you find ways to make that skill practical. It can fill in the fundamentals. It can help you expand your knowledge and skills.
There was no option for “write a blog about sex” when I was in High School, clicking multiple choice bubbles trying to decide what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. And while there was an “author” option, the hell if I knew what being an author meant when I was 16.
You have to get out there and try things and see what fits, what feels good. Would you buy a pair of pants off the internet? (I mean, I wouldn’t.)
So try some things on.
I would advise getting accepted into a community college and signing up for a term of electives. You’ll need elective credits anyways, so why not?
Lastly, I would highly recommend seeking out mentors. Do this when you have some general idea of what you want to do. You can even just pick someone who has a cool job and talk to them. This is the one thing I have failed miserably at because I have confused asking for help (something I stubbornly dislike) and asking for direction, advice, and networking (something you should do to get anywhere in life.) Never be the smartest person in the room. Never be bored. Always be asking questions. Take an interest in all people and things.
Okay, if that’s not enough to send your anxiety up a few levels, I don’t know what is. List making, it helps. Draw lines and circles and try to figure out what small steps you can take right now to make bigger steps later down the line. Best of luck.
Do you have a question? Submit at the top by hitting ask advice and I’ll answer it on my blog.