A long time ago I put Mr. Limpy on my wishlist. Mr. Limpy (a product of Fleshlight) is a flaccid packing dildo marketed for gender play. I just wanted one to put on my desk. Stress ball 2.0. My friend, knowing that I would never actually buy one for myself, picked me up a packing cock at the super-awesome local store Shebop. Despite the fact that it’s not an actual “Mr. Limpy” the name had already stuck, and so I call him Mr. Limpy. It’s suiting.
Of course once someone who fantasizes about having a penis (regardless for how long, or how seriously) finally has a flaccid packing cock in her hands, you can’t just play with it innocently. The public was in outrage.
So, I was quickly pantsed and had a cold rubber cock shoved into my underwear. Ahem.
Let’s just say if anyone ever asks me “What does it feel like to have a penis?”… well, I still have no idea, but this is definitely as close as I’ll ever get. The first thing I did was stick my hands onto my pants and adjusted my sack.
Mr. Limpy will likely be doomed to the shiny surface of my desk for all of time, but I quite like him there.
Yep, I’m weird.