Tag Archives: oral sex

Question: Lollipop Sidekicks

Question: Do all guys like you to play with their balls while you’re giving oral? My ex loved it, but sometimes their reaction leads me to believe I’m wasting my time. Same with putting the balls in my mouth. Is it fair to say that “most” guys like this?


If I had to guess, I would say there is a pretty wide range between men who enjoy their balls being played with and men who don’t.

Some men have bad experiences with ball-fondling and are hesitant to try it again. They’re sensitive down there, do you blame ‘em? Some men are ticklish or find the actual stimulation itself not super arousing. Different strokes for different folks. Some men find the balls to be a super-sensitive erogenous zone, and get a lot of sexual stimulation from having them touched.

What is his reaction? He could be wary of you heading down there if he’s not used to a woman doing that to him. Maybe he’s not sure what you’re doing!

Is he not making any reaction at all? Maybe he is all worked up in a fuss because it feels so good! Not everyone reacts to pleasure in the same way.

The best thing to do would be to ask him straight out. Hey, do you like your balls being played with, I never asked! 

While some might consider ball groping to be a standard act, I’d put it on my yellow list. Things that are probably safe, but wouldn’t hurt from a “do you mind?” prior to engaging.

I’m never sure which way my readership will be biased, but I’ve thrown up a new poll on my sidebar. I’ve worded it towards the testicular-ly inclined but answer for your partner if you so desire.


Yes – love it! 68% 

Never tried it 29%

It’s okay! 23%

No – not for me! 0% 

Have a question about sex or sexuality? Got curiosities about your gender or someone else’s gender thats making you scratch your head? Want third-party relationship advise? Looking to explore non-monogamy? Submit your questions at the top of the page to ask advice and ill answer them on my blog.

Five Tips (for getting blowjobs)

1. Make Some Noise

It can be hard to know if your partner is enjoying what you’re doing if you may no signs or signals. Communicating through soft breaths, slow moans, or vocalizing “oh god, that feels good” can signal to your partner that whatever they’re doing is working for you. Not only does it mix up the silence a bit, but it also can help improve the sex you have together. If your partner knows that one move elicits that kind of moan, they’re more likely to do it again.

2. Don’t Thrust

If your partner is going at it, avoid thrusting deeper into their mouth. Some people work more shallow blowjobs, but others will go deep, or “deep throat.” An unexpected thrust can send the gag reflex into overdrive.

3. Avoid Aggressive Maneuvers

It can be hard to know what to do with your hands when your partner is going down on you. Some people put their hands to their sides, or on their chest. Others may prefer holding their partners head. Be careful to not aggressively hold your partners head, or pull their hair, unless they have communicated that they are comfortable with that.

4. Keep it Clean

Shower before sex, or make sure things are clean prior to having a partner over. Sweat can accumulate over the day, making genitals (penises or vaginas of any kind) a little less pleasant to lick up on. Showering and taking care of hygiene is going to make the oral experience more pleasurable for your partner, which will ultimately make the experience more pleasurable for the both of you.

5. Tell Them When

There can be some confusion about how to tell your partner you’re getting close. I’m a fan of the straight forward method. Discuss feelings on swallowing prior to giving a blowjob! That way you don’t have to worry about making the wrong move in the heat of the moment. Many people like saying “I’m going to come” which signals to their partner “keep going, or stop and tell me where to come.” The problem with this (even if it works most of the time) is that not everyone will pull out in time, hear you in time, or understand exactly what you’re saying. It also puts some pressure in the moment to make a snap decision, when they may not have had time to think about it beforehand.

A clearer way to say it might be “do you want to swallow?” or “where do you want me to come?” which might sound strange in text, but if said in a confident and clear voice can send just the right signal.

Jalapeño Lovin’

If I eat jalapenos and then engage in oral sex with my partner feel the burn?

I spent the last ten minutes answering this thinking you were asking “Will my semen be spicy?*” but now that I’ve re-read it a few times I think you’re actually asking if it would have a similar effect to using a sensation (like warming) lube.

Honestly, I don’t know. If I were to guess I would say the burning sensation would be more alike setting ones genitals on fire than a nice tingle. If your partner is a masochist, proceed carefully to test the waters.** If not, start with a small amount of warming lubrication and see how that works for you.

* Only if you eat cock sauce.

** I would really not recommend. Ow.

Someone take my blogging privileges away tonight. I’m not making any sense.

Oral Sex Toys

What is a good, inexpensive sex toy to use when giving a guy oral?

I’m not sure exactly what you mean. Do you mean a toy for you to use on yourself, for a toy to use on him while you’re going down on him? It’s not often I hear of people using toys with oral sex on men, that’s why I ask.

There are three that come to mind:

1. Cock ring

An inexpensive rubber cock ring (Like this one, for $2.49) can help in keeping him stiff and provide a more intense orgasm.

2. Bullet Vibe

A small bullet shaped vibrator (like this) can be held against your cheek or his shaft while performing oral – though many men find the vibration much much too intense to be pleasurable – ask your man first.

3. Anal play

Pick up a small prostate toy or some (anal beads) to use. Double the stimulation, double the fun?

Going Soft

Sometimes my boyfriends cock goes a little soft in the middle of a blow job, why is this and what can I do to make sure he stays really hard?

It happens. The cock isn’t always in mega-erection-vein-popping mode. Even when you’ve having sex there can be some variability in stiffness. When you’re fooling around though it can be helpful to communicate with your partner to make sure that you’re both doing something that the other person likes. In this case you may have been making your partner feel good, but perhaps the softness was a sign that it was time to switch up your technique. Some respond well to a constant technique, others prefer a mix up to keep things constantly changing. A constantly changing technique (ex: sometimes using your hand, sometimes not, a bit of suction v. no suction, fast v. slow, etc) can help keep things sensitive. A constant technique (doing the same motion over and over) is preferable for others who like to feel it build up in that way.

Changing your technique might help if your partner likes variety in their blow job. And, honestly, I would say that most do. Asking will help. What do you like? What don’t you like? Can you tell me when you want me to change it up?

Blood flow to the genitalia is what makes the penis erect. Sometimes using your hand to make a ring around the base of the penis can help keep things stiffer. You can also use a cock ring for this purpose.

Good luck!