1. Make Some Noise
It can be hard to know if your partner is enjoying what you’re doing if you may no signs or signals. Communicating through soft breaths, slow moans, or vocalizing “oh god, that feels good” can signal to your partner that whatever they’re doing is working for you. Not only does it mix up the silence a bit, but it also can help improve the sex you have together. If your partner knows that one move elicits that kind of moan, they’re more likely to do it again.
2. Don’t Thrust
If your partner is going at it, avoid thrusting deeper into their mouth. Some people work more shallow blowjobs, but others will go deep, or “deep throat.” An unexpected thrust can send the gag reflex into overdrive.
3. Avoid Aggressive Maneuvers
It can be hard to know what to do with your hands when your partner is going down on you. Some people put their hands to their sides, or on their chest. Others may prefer holding their partners head. Be careful to not aggressively hold your partners head, or pull their hair, unless they have communicated that they are comfortable with that.
4. Keep it Clean
Shower before sex, or make sure things are clean prior to having a partner over. Sweat can accumulate over the day, making genitals (penises or vaginas of any kind) a little less pleasant to lick up on. Showering and taking care of hygiene is going to make the oral experience more pleasurable for your partner, which will ultimately make the experience more pleasurable for the both of you.
5. Tell Them When
There can be some confusion about how to tell your partner you’re getting close. I’m a fan of the straight forward method. Discuss feelings on swallowing prior to giving a blowjob! That way you don’t have to worry about making the wrong move in the heat of the moment. Many people like saying “I’m going to come” which signals to their partner “keep going, or stop and tell me where to come.” The problem with this (even if it works most of the time) is that not everyone will pull out in time, hear you in time, or understand exactly what you’re saying. It also puts some pressure in the moment to make a snap decision, when they may not have had time to think about it beforehand.
A clearer way to say it might be “do you want to swallow?” or “where do you want me to come?” which might sound strange in text, but if said in a confident and clear voice can send just the right signal.