I have never given a blowjob and to be honest im kinda scared too. My boyfriend asked for one and I told him yes, I want to try giving him one, Im ready and wanting to giving him one. I just don’t know how to give one. I know not to use teeth and use lots spit. I want to give him the best blowjob he has ever had. How should I start? Should he be laying down, sitting up, standing? If he thrust his penis in my mouth will I throw up or gag?
I find the very best way to learn anything is to expose yourself to it and to practice, practice, practice. All penises (and those people attached to them) are different. This means they have different preferences. Some like really gentle, some like a more aggressive touch. Some are circumcised and some are uncircumcised. Some like lots of deep throating, some prefer slow, some prefer fast. There are different techniques you can learn – a mashup of using your hands, your mouth, your tongue, your throat.
Just like penetrative sex, start with the basics, and don’t worry about going crazy right at the start. Build from the basics based on what works well, and what your partner seems to like. I believe that you should move progressively through things, gaining more experience, and expanding your sexual portfolio as you go.
Your first blow job will not be your best blow job because you haven’t had practice. Also, you haven’t had the time to learn what your partner likes. That’s okay. It can still be damn good if you follow a few basic tips. It seems like you know a few of them already.
1. Don’t be too aggressive
Obviously, this includes not using teeth. But it also includes things like handling your partner aggressively. Until you find out what sort of stimulation he likes, stick to light-medium stimulation. Have him communicate what feels best. You can try to grab a little tighter with your hand or create a little more suction with your mouth and see how he responds. Make these changes incrementally. Don’t go from zero to a hundred.
2. Stick to the Stick
Until you know where your partner likes to be stimulated, avoid anal play or toying with their balls. You can be adventurous and lightly try either but don’t be shocked if your partner moves you away or asks you to stop. Not all men like this, or expect it.
3. Keep your mouth moist
If you have issues with keeping your mouth wet, make sure to stay well hydrated throughout the day. If you find that your mouth is getting dry, stop for a moment and get some more saliva going, and then resume. It’s also smart to keep spicy or minty foods out of your mouth prior to going down on your partner.
If you want to get a head start, read some books on oral sex. She Comes First is a great one for teaching people about going down on women. He Comes Next is the companion to that. I haven’t read it yet but I imagine it’s filled with similar, useful information.
I usually advise against using pornography as a study tool, but in some cases it can be helpful. If you have zero idea on how to get started, watching a lot of amateur pornography can be helpful. It will show you how people position themselves, how long a blow job might last for, and how to actually move your mouth up and down. Remember that much of pornography is not representative of what actually goes on in the bedroom, and it should not necessarily be used as a guide on what to do. Proceed with caution and curiosity.
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