I’m actually pretty lucky in the sense that my boyfriend lasts longer than the average man. My problem is I seem to have trouble lasting as long as he does. I get all super dry and then its physically painful for me to continue. I know my bc method probably doesn’t help so can you make any recommendations on what to do besides switching to a non hormonal bc method?
All bodies have their own ups and downs, things you gotta learn to swing with. The benefit of losing wetness is that you can always add more. I would recommend finding a lubricant that you really like and keeping it by your bed (or futon, or couch, or shower, and so forth.) But sometimes it’s not just about lubrication, right? It’s about hitting that point where you’re done and he just hasn’t finished yet. So there are a few other options.
1. Try not to come as quickly
If the issue is that you’re coming quickly and are trying to continue to help him get off, try extending your own orgasm. When you feel yourself getting close, back off a bit. Some women can continue to have sex over, and over, and over again after each orgasm. Others find that things get a little too sensitive to continue, and painful if they try. Delaying orgasm and even attempting for simultaneous orgasm can be a fun game to play in the spirit of pleasure.
2. Work on getting yourself back in the zone
If you’re having sex and you’re getting off but then you start to get out of the mood (and your partner is still going at it) try to get yourself back in the zone. Ask him to do something for you, finger yourself, pull out a toy, get that lube, turn on some music, dim the lights. Arousal isn’t all physical – what the body produces – it’s also mental. Getting yourself back into that mental state or helping yourself stay in that mental state can help keep your libido going.
3. Take a break and switch it up
There isn’t any sex manual that says you have to keep going until you’re both done. If you’re tired, take a break. Sit back and watch him masturbate, let him go down on you, go down on him, switch positions, change rooms, get a snack, take a shower. You can do anything you want. What’s going to make it work for you?
4. Help or watch him finish
If you’re done (whether or not you’ve had an orgasm) but he isn’t – you can help him finish. A blowjob or a handjob, some teasing, some dirty talk, or even just watching him while he finishes himself off. It can be a fun way to end a session and allow everyone to feel like they were satisfied.
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