Tag Archives: g-spot

Finding G-Spot: Finger Edition

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This question might be too much but here goes. Wondering if you have any tips for finding your g-spot with your fingers. I managed to hit it with toys but when I try to find it with my fingers…it’s just not working. I lose my patience and/or my arm gets tired. Any suggestions would be great! Thanks!

The g-spot is on the upper wall of the vagina, which is why you will see g-spot toys as being curved upwards. G-spot toys are great because they give you the extra leverage to reach the spot. I find that stimulating my own g-spot with that come-hither motion gives my hand a cramp, so I rarely attempt playing with it on my own. Not so much of a bad thing if you’re more of a clit masturbator.

The first thing you’ll want to do is get aroused so the blood flows to the genitals and the tissues become more prominent. This will help you pick out the g-spot. Insert your fingers and curve them upwards. It’s likely you’ll feel anything just running your fingers around, so try pressing your fingers in to the upper wall. I think it is helpful to look for a particular sensation rather than a particular “spot.” The spot will feel different once you find it, but it’s the deep sensation you get from stroking on it that will tell you you’ve got the right place.

I think it’s quite nobel to try and find it on your own, with your fingers. I would try the above for a while, even trying putting a pillow under your butt to prop yourself up a little higher. Keep pressing inwards and see if you can find it. If it were me, I would continue using the toy for g-spot stimulation. You’re not going to get as tired as quickly, which will lead to greater stimulation, and perhaps a more powerful orgasm.

Have fun and enjoy yourself, there’s no right or wrong way to do that.

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Like a Squirt Gun, Ooh.

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Okay, Squirting. Ready, set, go. You’re in bed with you’re lady and you’re getting hot and all of a sudden did you just urinate on me? Awkward. See, most couples don’t start their romantic affairs with a conversation about water sports. So when you’re doing the dirty (or even just a lovely finger bang) it can be a little curious when your partner suddenly ejaculates onto your face. Uncalled for, unprepared, completely astounding. Luckily for you, the chances that your partner just actually pissed on you are slim to none. When the body is aroused, the urinary system shuts the fuck down. That strange pressure you have that you need to piss yourself? Well, you might be about to squirt. If you want to prevent the “But how can I be sure?” the best way is by using the restroom immediately before having intercourse. Then you can check in with your nagging self No, no. You already went. Hold on tight. It’s gonna be a good one. 

The g-spot is the particular criminal of these awfully deep sensations. A little g-spot stimulation can go a long way. A lot of g-spot stimulation is even better. The hard part about writing a post on squirting is that a lot of what we know seems to be best guess. I mean, try taking out funding to learn why women wet themselves. We’re some sexually repressed folk – well, some would argue. I mean, I’m writing a post about female ejaculation, so how repressed are we really? We know all about the penis, or at least we think we do, but the vagina is a mythical winged creature that often gets left behind.

Here’s what we do know: Some women can squirt a fluid, some women can’t. We’re not sure if they can’t or if they just haven’t yet. For some women it happens easily, or even accidentally, and for others it takes very direct movements of the finger to elicit the response. If you want to see if you can squirt, the best option is probably to reach a heightened level of arousal and have your partner double up on some intense clitoral and g-spot stimulation. Some women say that their squirting is not necessarily accompanied by an orgasm. You’re going to have to be comfortable with the mess that it’s going to produce – having a towel on hand is a definite plus. While we do know the fluid isn’t urine, we don’t know exactly what it is, other than the fact that it probably has something to do with the Skene’s Gland.

If anyone has any other reputable sources for female ejaculation, link them in the comments. I was unable to find anything useful to link to outside of some less-than-interesting studies or pop culture references. I think the bottom line is: body does awesome things, seems kind of funny, does happen in real life, not all women can or have done it, data is limited, it has two social stigmas (one: yaaaay thats hot two: whaaaaat did you piss on me?) so be careful with how you (as partner) proceed with it.

What I’m Reading + Notes

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What I’m Reading

iPad Fleshlight Case is … interactive porn?

Just about everything that is Vacerelli lately.

Another great post on the equality of all women’s rights by Jessica Valenti

Mind Games with Kelly Oxford

And lastly, as with current events, if you see a friend post suicidal content on Facebook please notify someone.

Sex & The Family Notes

Some of this will be straight jibberish from my notebook, some obvious and some fun, others will be thoughts from the class.

STARTING WITH: Drawing your own genitalia by memory! We had a guest speaker come in and go through male and female anatomy this past week and it’s been incredibly fascinating. At the start of one of the classes he brought up the activity of going and drawing your own genitals from memory and then comparing to see how close you were. A lot of people snickered and thought it was weird, but I thought it was kind of awesome. Even if you’re ze best arteessst in the land, you should know “whats normal for you” and this might be a good test at just how well you know yourself. Give it a shot. Let me know if you do and if anything surprised you! (I won’t post your genital drawings on my blog unless they’re really awesome.)

I thought very simple examples of sexism were interesting. For instance just prompting “Are you male or female?” prior to a study may influence the results on the study because you are reminded “I am female” prior to answering the questions. Strange where those biases can come in to play.

Circumcision: Why would someone circumcise their child? Many people looking for excuses to do it because they want to, but want their to be “valid” medical health reasons to do so. Teacher explains that there really aren’t any, and so you should own where you desires come from and that’s okay to feel the way you feel. For instance: Maybe you just want your son to look the way you (or your partner) does – in the sense that it will be easier to explain bodies to them if you two look the same. Or perhaps it is a tradition in your family, albeit a strange one when get down to it, that you circumcise. No right nor wrong here, necessarily (or as one of my teachers says: no shame no blame!) 

Foreskins… in face cream? FIBROBLAST. Also foreskins in skin grafting. What happens with foreskins in hospital?

This is kind of cool: At Portland State they’re working on having a gender neutral bathroom in all the buildings (I think) which would mean bathrooms which anyone can go in. Not just one stall rooms, either. They also talked about the idea of allowing gender-identity to play a roll in which restrooms you could use. For instance if you identified as female but were born male, you could use the female restrooms… well, anyways. Gender and restrooms. Think about it.

My teacher said “owning your sexuality” and I just about died. He also referenced that it means doing what you want to do and NOT doing what you don’t want to do. In other words: if you don’t like it, say no. If you do like it, say yes! This reminds me of a meme I saw recently about: If you say yes, you’re a slut. If you say no, you’re a prude. Just no winning in the virgin whore dichotomy. (Which is what I’m writing one of my papers on this term.)

Someone asked about PMS: is it real? The answer he gave – as a man – was very eloquent, and safe. Essentially that everyone has cycles all the time and that perhaps just once a month women become more insightful about who all the assholes are and become more verbally confident, or something. Basically that it was about perception. And of course he also mentioned how fantastic the female body is and how it really isn’t so much to ask for someone to cook you dinner and get you some chocolate. You know, in the grand scheme of ovary-explosion uterus-shedding, really-exhausted-being-human kind of way.

Oh, and we talked about the g-spot. He expressed some rage in how we’ve done studies that correlate handedness (left/right/ambi) to which one of your testicles hangs lower. And yet. We still don’t know exactly what the g-spot (area? region?) is – where it is – if every women has one – what exactly the purpose is – or how it’s related to squirting (female ejaculation) since it appears to me. We also don’t necessarily know what the fluid is that is squirted out, aside from the fact that it is not urine.

Fucked up, right? Particularly in light of the “studies” that have come out recently. There is no denying there is a G-REIGION OF SOME KIND but that modern science hasn’t fully solved that mystery yet is kind of astounding, no?

What we do know is that: it is an area of heightened sensitivity in most females on the anterior wall of the vagina and that stimulating it is related to the release of fluid known as female ejaculation or squirting.

I know guys, I know.


He then went into some explanation about the paraurethral glands but I’m not going to pretend I’ve looked this up yet but I plan to and if I find anything insightful I’ll get back to you. If you men out there want to do some studying of your own, do a quick search for the prostate. The ladies don’t have one (the p-spot and the g-spot are said to be analogous, as many parts in the male/female bodies are) and the prostate is the source of lots of really fucking rad shit.

(Note: Lots of people/websites/books will articulate quite clearly what the g-spot is and where it is and what it is, as have I in the past, but as much of this information is contrary nor not very well researched, take it for what it is?)

I then drew a picture of a vagina that looks like a really scared alien but alas I don’t have a scanner.

Menopause: 50s, typically

Menarche: 9-16 yrs of age, sharp bell curve, age becoming younger but menopause not becoming older.

Those who start menarche earlier tend to be African American or poor (typically poor + african american) yet we still don’t know exactly why the age is getting younger or how it may correlate to this.

Some positive-thinkers say that it’s just our bodies going “Hey, you live longer now, lets give you a longer period of time to reproduce by making you able to at a younger age – for a longer time!” But I don’t know about that.

Tra la la, ovulation. And done.

The Nexus G-Play (Toy Review)

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You reach a certain point in collecting sex toys where you have to wonder is there anything else out there for me? I think everyone reaches this point, if only temporarily, where they feel that they have everything they could ever want to put inside themselves. Luckily for me and every toy company out there, that is completely untrue. There are endless possibilities out there, and just when you think that you’ve had enough, you find something new. Every curve and texture and vibration brings about new experiences that aren’t worth passing up.

Enter my latest toy, the Nexus G-Play. Medium in size, and predictably purple.

This toy is marketed as a double use toy, for either g-spot play or prostate stimulation. I was attracted to it’s slight curve and silky smooth texture, but the selling point for me was that you could use it with either sex. Too often toys are sold specifically to women and it was refreshing to see a toy that I could trade back and forth.

When I first pulled the toy out of the box I let out a small awww which is, I think, acceptable when you’re looking at a sex toy. Just don’t make the mistake of doing the same thing to your partner. This thing was cute. Really cute. It was a lot smaller in person than I had expected, and felt like a little mini sex toy. Which is I guess what it is.

The toy has a small button on the base that turns on the vibration, which was especially strong. It packs a punch. You can even pull the vibrator out of the mold and find some other uses for it.

As a woman, I went straight to using the toy as a g-spot stimulator. I have to say that I had mixed reviews. I have a large collection of g-spot stimulators, many of which really dig into my g-spot. Especially my g-spot smoothie, which hooks the bastard and takes it for all it’s worth. This toy fits all the way inside me and as I rocked back and forth on it, it hit my g-spot, but it definitely didn’t abuse it. I would recommend it as a starting toy for people who are interested in poking and prodding within themselves and getting some starter stimulation, who don’t want to go straight to the mega-curved toys which can be more intimidating.

Like I said, rocking was the way to go. You won’t be able to constantly penetrate (fuck) yourself with this toy. Sitting on it and moving back and forth will get you the best sensation. Sometimes it can be fun to just have something inside of you, and this is definitely the toy for that. It could also work well as a warm up toy, especially if you warm up slow. With the vibration it could also be used as a clit stimulator or as a way to tease yourself into an orgasm (with the vibe and rocking) if you’re into that.

Unfortunately I have not had a chance to test it out on a willing male participant yet, though that time will come, and I’m sure I will have much more to say when that time comes. In the mean time… I’ll be selfish and keep it all to myself.

Check out other vibrators and sex toys at Edenfantasys.

Sex toys - EdenFantasys adult toys store

Read my last two sex toy reviews here and here

This product was provided to me free of charge by Eden Fantasys in exchange for an unbiased review.

male sex toys

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What kinds of masturbation devices are there for men?

Toys are often one of those things that are considered a woman’s pleasure. On the contrary, there are several sex toys made just for men, and almost any sex toy marketed for women can be used by men as well. Let’s start with the toys that are made for men.

The first place to start would be the ladies. I think of it like this.

Sex dolls are the entire picture. A blow up doll or a woman made out of a thicker and more expensive material that you can fuck. These dolls typically have three holes you can fuck. A realistic vagina is the next step down from that, starting at the hips and going all the way in. Sometimes there is even fake pubic hair for kicks. There are also rear versions of this if you’re really into anal sex. Masturbation sleeves are the most affordable version and the kind we hear about more often. For instance- the fleshlight.

There are several different variaties of the fleshlight, the one pictured above being about $65. This is just one kind of masturbation sleeve, though, and I’ve found them for as inexpensive as $10.

Next there are cock rings and vibrating cock rings. Both can create harder erections and build up to a more powerful orgasm. The vibrating cock rings can be fun alone but also add clitoral vibration if you’re fucking a woman.

- Masturbation break-

Okay, where was I? What?

Cock rings? Then… let’s get to the fun stuff. Prostate stimulators. Real men stick things in their ass because they know it’s where the secret button hides. What secret button? Well, we’ll call it the male version of the g-spot.

I like this picture because the index finger is as big as the cock. Yay scaling!

Prostate massage can either lead to intense orgasms or can help reach the mysterious male multiple orgasm. In other words, ejaculating without orgasm and then continuing. While you can do all of this without toys (just like you can play with your g-spot without a g-spot toy) it can certainly make stimulating the area easier.

Lastly, I wanted to point out again that many toys marketed typically towards women can be used by men. Vibrators and dildos can work great as anal toys or held against the balls for vibration. You can also use butt plugs or anal beads which are on the cheaper side and can enhance the strength of your orgasm when used correctly.

The point being, there are a ton of toys out there for men. No one should feel less masculine by wanting to increase the amount of pleasure they get from sex or masturbation. If you can’t afford any of these toys start by picking up a bottle of lubrication and playing with your ass with one finger while you stroke your cock with the other hand. This combo, simple and cheap, is a good place to start.