Bad Dating Messages 9/22

I decided I would start sharing some of my more unique messages from various dating sites. I’d been sharing them off/on via twitter, but some of these are just too good not share here. Let’s start with my latest POF message. The awesome thing about POF is that you can prevent anyone from messaging you if their message is below a certain character count. For a while I went from getting 50 messages a day to getting zero. I think people have caught on, though, because I’m starting to get longer (albeit still not very good) messages. Here’s one.

“What is love? What is this longing in our hearts for togetherness? Is it not the sweetest flower? Does not this flower of love have the fragrant aroma of fine, fine diamonds? Does not the wind love the dirt? Is not love not unlike the unlikely not it is unlikened to? Are you with someone tonight? Do not question your love. Take your lover by the hand. Release the power within yourself. Your heard me, release the power. Tame the wild cosmos with a whisper. Conquer heaven with one intimate caress. That’s right don’t be shy. Whip out everything you got and do it in the butt”

I googled it. It’s a line from a film called The Ladies Man.

On the OKC side, things aren’t much better.

Hello beautiful! Ok I know I’m probably older than most guys you date, but wait!! First, I love open relationships too, and that’s the reason why I would treat you very well and make you feel like a very special girl. Because you’d be a very special girl to me!

It’s just about enough to make my vagina pack itself up like of those self-contained recyclable grocery bags and head for the hills.

 

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