“The Kinkiest Post” Round Four

A big thank you to everyone who submitted their kinkiest sex questions! Without your delightful perversions, this wouldn’t be possible. If you missed the deadline and have a kinky question, don’t let me stop you. Click Ask at the top of the page and submit your question.

Why are 99% of cuckold fantasies subjecting men? Why do people not realize that women are just as fun to cuckold?

If I had to give you my best psychology based response, I’d look into Evolutionary Psychology with arousal as a response to the adulterous wife. There is a lot of really great information out there about our sexual habits. For instance: Fucking harder/faster when we suspect our partner may not have been faithful, or if we know they haven’t been faithful. Wanting to secure paternity. Get all the competitive sperm out, replace it with our own, etc. So you’re watching your woman have sex with someone else and you get a painfully powerful erection that tells you need to get my dick in her, need to get my dick in her. It could also tie into the taboo of infidelity and the fear of infidelity, the desire to be humiliated for sexual pleasure, or any other powerful emotion that is incited in the process of knowing/watching your partner with someone else.

If the concept of cuckolding is beyond you, here are some interesting explanations.

1. One cuckold explained his excitement as “caused by the duality of being both afraid and excited. Fear is a powerful aphrodisiac… maybe my body requires a certain amount of adrenaline, which can only be generated by fear.”

What is there to fear? A cuckold can fear (while being turned on by) the thought of being humiliated in front of his wife and her lover; he can fear being told he cannot cum for a specified (and lengthy) period of time. He can fear hearing sounds of pleasure from his wife that he never heard when she was in bed with him. Or, he can just fear the unknown. (source)

2. It’s a vicarious thrill, a self-negating act of worship in honor of the woman you love. Meaning her pleasure comes first! This thrills a submissive man and especially a cuckold. Because it also means finding her pleasure in the arms of another man. And, as a cuckold, you accept this, enjoy this, take submissive pleasure in the fact that your goddess has this right! Her happiness is yours! (source)

I don’t know about the 99% statistic, but I do know there are women who are cuckolded in similar ways to men. I would suspect there are a lot of different reasons why a woman may enjoy being cuckolded. I would also suspect there are many different reasons why she may be more hesitant to enter into a cuckold scenario/relationship than a man. Perhaps she may be more wary of other women/partners, she may be more afraid of infidelity or losing her partner (in E-Psy the female needs her partner there to help raise children, threatening that by allowing new partners and potentially more offspring wouldn’t make sense) or she may have been handled more messages growing up about the social right/wrong of sex and sexuality. Lastly, cuckolding isn’t exactly mainstream sexuality. Many people still don’t know what cuckolding is, or what it means, and this can make it significantly more difficult to get into or experiment with. For men, or for women. If I had to say, this is probably the #1 reason. A simple lack of not knowing or not understanding.

How would you suggest improving my deep throating technique? My boyfriend likes to fuck my throat (and I like the submissive nature of it) but I have difficulties with it sometimes.

In my experience a lot of deep throating comes in mind over matter. Learning to recognize the feeling when deep becomes too deep is important. It’s also important to know what your hard limit is so you never let your partner push past that point.

A lot of this you’ll have to feel out for yourself and experiment with to find your own limits.

1. Make sure your mouth is very slick, make sure his penis is very slick. Making sure you keep well hydrated is pretty important because it will keep everything slick and allow for deeper penetration.

2. Go slow – work on testing your limit. Don’t just jam him back to your throat. Slowly work your mouth down over him, maybe even adjusting as you go to find the path of… least resistance?

3. So, of course, don’t go straight into throat fucking. Start with straight up deep throating on the bed. Some find that hanging their head over the bed helps straighten the neck. I like male laying down or male kneeling.

4. When you have him deep in your mouth, take a minute to breathe out of your nose. Practice swallowing around your partner. Both of these things can help suppress the gag reflex.

5. Keep a hand on your partners upper thigh so you can push away quickly if needed. You can also wrap a hand around your partners penis so your mouth cannot physically go down past a certain point. Make sure you have a backup plan in case you accidentally go further than you wanted to or your partner happens to thrust up at a the wrong time.

I heard the term “party favor” the other night and was wondering if you could write a little bit about that?

In pornography or kink the term party favor might refer to a woman who goes to a party specifically to have sex with the attendees. I’ve read several fantasy stories in particular that follow one outline. Though the setup changes (bachelor party, poker night, etc) typically the woman arrives, and in some fashion gets each of the guys off one by one. This may also in some way feed into CMNF (clothed male, naked female) or gang bang fantasies.

I’ve always wanted to taste myself after ejaculating, but I always wuss out after I come. Thoughts?

 

Oh boy, have I heard this one before. Isn’t that always the case? I know some guys who are really into it and it was never a big deal for them, but I think more often than not men fall into this category of “not sure if want.”

When you’re at your peak a lot of things sound more arousing/interesting than they do when you’re not aroused. You’re more likely to be adventurous or think dirty thoughts and it makes sense that you’d think of tasting yourself at that point.  It’s a kinky thing. But then you ejaculate and you hit that downward spiral where you don’t really want to think about sex anymore and it becomes much more difficult.

My suggestion – just go for it. You can come onto yourself and then reach a finger into it, or you can awkwardly try to give yourself a facial. (I’m mainly suggesting this because it’s a great mental image.) Once you’ve done it you’ll have that curiosity satisfied. And since it’s not really going to hurt you, there’s no harm done.

What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s