I know you’re more open-minded than most (and even at least a little attracted to girls) but my question is about a guy making comments about another girls appearance when he’s with his girlfriend? My boyfriend will say “ohh that girls fine” or stare at a girl jogging by or something and I don’t like it. I wouldn’t mention it to him if I saw a good-looking guy out and about while I was with him. Am I overreacting or is there a way to get him to stop?
I don’t think you’re overreacting. If it makes you feel uncomfortable, he shouldn’t do it. I think there is some noticing that is acceptable. It’s normal to still find other people “fine” when you’re in a relationship. However: Verbalizing it in the presence of your girlfriend without her being onboard for that type of commentary is uncalled for. That being said, it’s possible he’s not being a jerk on purpose, and it’s possible he somehow didn’t get the memo that it makes you upset. Sit him down and tell him that when you’re out together it makes you feel uncomfortable when he mentions other girls that way. Explain it as calmly and as rationally as you can (which might be difficult, if it’s a subject that’s hard for you) and then let him say is piece. If he’s a decent guy, he’ll reel things in and remember who he’s out with.
On another note – perhaps not for you, but for readers in general, I get a kick out of knowing who my boyfriend is attracted to. I don’t think it’s for everyone, but I do think there is a certain (excitement? comfort? confidence?) in knowing that there are other people your partner is attracted to and accepting that – as well as knowing that they chose you. I don’t know if I’m a ”ohh, that girls fine” kind of person, but the occasional “gosh, she’s really beautiful, look at her!” escapes occasionally. Given the right circumstances and mutual understanding of those situations, I think it can be a fun.
In your situation, it sounds like your boyfriend is breaking boundaries and pushing buttons. Have that talk, stat! Don’t let things slide. Talk it out until you feel 100% comfortable.