hey so this is an odd question, but after reading the question about spitting in someones mouth, i think i would like to try that with my bf. the thing is, idk if i will like it…or feel like shit about myself haha (just me personally) … and although we do some somewhat kinky stuff and he likes being rough with me, idk if he will be ok with it either. and then im afraid if he likes it, and i dont, what to do then. ugh. i know you say communication is important but could you please help…

Most of what we learn in the bedroom is through trial and error. You don’t know if you’re going to like something or not until you do it! The great part about this is that if you don’t like it, you never have to do it again. If you do like it, you’ve found just one more thing you can add to your sexual repertoire. To get it going you’ll have to make sure it’s something that both you AND your boyfriend are interested in trying, though. Sure you might not know if you like it until you try it, but there are some things that people just aren’t interested in trying in the first place. Is he equally interested in that? Would he want to try it? Would he get something out of it too?

If he likes it and you don’t, it doesn’t mean you have to keep doing it. That’s just part of exploring as a couple. Sometimes you find things you really like, sometimes he finds finds things he really likes, and you come together and do the things that you like to do together.

If you’re genuinely worried about how you’ll feel about yourself, maybe don’t jump straight into him spitting in your  mouth. Try having him spit on your lips (labia) before you have sex, or somewhere else that might feel less “rough” than straight into the mouth. Really feel out your comfort levels before you do it and try to zone in on what makes you comfortable. And, of course, you can always leave it as a fantasy that you don’t actually try if you find that you just can’t get into the idea.

Sit down and bring it up in conversation as a hypothetical. Maybe talking to your partner about it will help you weed out some of your thoughts on how you feel about it, and how he feels about it.