While having sex, my boyfriend said “open your mouth” and then spit in my mouth. It was weird to me but didn’t really bother me and I guess what I’m wondering is a little bit about the psychology behind that if you can provide any?

These first couple paragraphs are mostly for the readers, not necessarily for you the question asker.

I’m convinced that there isn’t a single problem out there that isn’t due to a failure to communicate. Granted, you lucked out and it didn’t bother you. But can you imagine the thought process behind this? Yeah, I’m going to spit in my girlfriends mouth. She’ll really like that. And you did, but christ is that risky.

Generally speaking, you should ask before doing things like this. Starting at the base of your sexual relationship “Do you want to have sex?” all the way to kink master level fifteen. You run things by your partner before you try them. Not only to gauge how interested they are, but to get their permission. Him spitting on you was something he did to you, and so he should have asked.

Exception: If you’ve been together for a while, some of those boundaries might be pushed as you become more comfortable with your partner and know what gets them off. For instance, if you like name calling you might not ask your partner every time you come up with a new name for them. You know they get off on it, and if they don’t like it they can tell you immediately afterwards that it didn’t work.

I don’t know where you and your boyfriend are at here, but it sounds like “it was weird” might indicate that you weren’t expecting it. But it didn’t bother you so lets go there.

It sounds to me like the enjoyment of submission, maybe with the added bonus of humiliation. Some people enjoy being degraded during sex, because it gets them off. It feels kinky, taboo, off limits. It makes them fall deeper into the mental arousal of sex and leads to more intense/powerful orgasms. It makes every touch feel more electric. From his perspective, it might be a dominance thing. He is taking dominance over you as the person he is fucking by holding that position of power, and even being slightly crude. This might get him off as the two of you fuck.

I don’t think there is anything particularly significant about the fact that he spit on/in you. I think that’s just one more symbol that can be added to a greater umbrella of moves/acts/expressions that fit into dominance and submission.