As a woman, how do I ‘pick up’ other women?

That’s the question of the year, isn’t it? With bi-sexuality and sexual fluidity and other “alternative” sexualities coming out more into the forefront of discussion, I’ve seen a big push in women seeking other women. Openly. Maybe it’s just that I’ve gotten older and more involved and I’m starting to notice it. Either way, women want to find women. But if you haven’t gone your whole life as openly gay (or even if you have) it might be hard to find people that you like who like you back. Where all the lesbians at?

For this question in particular, my advice is going to suck. I’ve never been fond of the term “picking up” because it does elicit those negative connotations to dating/sexuality. I haven’t personally found any quick stop solution to finding same-sex partners while out on the town. It’s hard. I mean, even for opposite-sex partners. There is something to be said for building a rapport with someone before attempting to pick them up.

I would suggest making friends, and lots of ‘em. Go out often with friends. Sign up on OKCupid to meet like-minded attractive women. Put yourself out there and be open about who you are and what you’re looking for. When you see someone you like, introduce yourself. Talk to them. Compliment them earnestly. I’ve found that a lot of same-sex flirtation is really just typical behavior between two women. Between two friends. Then again, the whole did you fall from heaven shit-show pickup lines never did it for me and never will. Show some genuine interest in someone as a human being. You attracted me, I would like to more about you, let’s talk.