Treat each breakup like the death of a close loved one, because that is what it is.

Your brain goes through the same processes in a break-up as it does with death. You have to learn how to live without someone who was very close to you, and perhaps someone you even depended on daily if your relationship was very serious. Read books on grief and apply them the best you can to the feelings you’re having. You can try to follow the basic five stages of grief if that helps.

Denial:
We’ll be together again, I know we will. We’re meant for each other.

Anger:
I can’t believe they’re doing this to me. Why are they being so cruel?

Bargaining:
I will be such a better girlfriend if they just give me one more chance, just one more chance. I’ll do anything for another chance.

Depression:
I am never going to find someone else like them. They were the perfect boyfriend. Who else is going to do the things they did for me?

Acceptance:
You know, I’m doing okay. Things weren’t as great as I thought they were. I know that I can find better. I know that I will find better. I love them, I really do, but I don’t know if I can be in love with them anymore.

With acceptance remember that a break up is a good thing, not a bad thing. It didn’t work for a reason, whether that reason was yours or his. That means that you were in a relationship that wasn’t working, even if you were in love. A relationship with only love is not a relationship you want to be in because it will make you unhappy. Or obsessed.